I’m reading a book called Third Culture Kids that is really fascinating to me since I’m raising three “THIRD CULTURE KIDS” or “TCKs.”

By definition a TCK is “a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.”

I think originally, I actually believed (or atleast hoped) that my kids would be able to assimilate into these 2 cultures seamlessly. . . but after 5 years overseas and after reading this book I know it’s not possible. I should really sit down and write all about it to maybe help you understand more of what I’m learning and maybe you could even understand our kids better or other TCKs, but here are some benefits and challenges to keep it concise:

BENEFIT: Expanded Worldview CHALLENGE: Confused Loyalties
BENEFIT: Cross-Cultural Enrichment CHALLENGE: Ignorance of Home Culture
BENEFIT: Adaptability CHALLENGE: Lack of Cultural Balance (because of the mix of cultures they’ve been exposed to)
BENEFIT: Blending In (chameleon like – dress or accent) CHALLENGE: Really Defining their Differences (they know “I’m not like you!”)
BENEFIT: Less Prejudice (for most) CHALLENGE: More Prejudice (For some)

I know the choice we have made to live overseas is molding our kids. I’m not a TCK so there is so much I don’t understand. I think it’s great that they can see this great big world – from the wealthy to extreme poverty, experience so many cultures through our travels, taste so many different foods, and be fluent in two languages. It comes with set backs too though – They don’t have the same palette as a “true American.” They don’t know about baseball or football or many other things that are familiar childhood memories to me. Reading in two languages and getting the sounds and letters mixed up has been a battle for one of them. . . More importantly, they don’t get to grow up around their cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We miss the holidays (some more than others) just to name a few.

I’m not questioning our journey. . . I’m content and grateful. Just some thoughts as I parent these precious “TCKs.” And one more analogy: (colors referring to Westerner and Asian in a completely non-racist way)

In the States they are like an egg. They are “white” on the outside, but really more “yellow” on the inside.

Here they are more like a banana. They are “yellow” on the outside, but more “white” on the inside.

So. . . where do they fit in? Nowhere completely. But when a bunch of TCKs get together it is really an amazing sight- like a family reunion almost Because if you remember from the definition above “their sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.” They just have a magical connection, and it’s this group of people that make a “THIRD CULTURE” because they don’t fit into their home or host culture.