I read this in my quiet time the other morning and it has caused to me to stop and think deeply about it (Taken from Mom Heart Moments by Sally Clarkson):
The Bible says, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life” (I Thess. 4:11). The world promotes power, money, things.
The Bible says, “Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven” (Matt. 6:20). The world says, “Beauty is on the outside.”
The Bible says, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (I Sam. 16:7). The world says leadership is found in position and power.
The Bible says, “Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:25). The world says, “Do something great you can be proud of.”
Jesus built deep relationships for three years with a dozen men and a few others in a community of friends. His ministry was small and personal, meeting needs, eating meals, living life with a focused few, serving them. He never traveled more than a hundred miles from Galilee. He never wrote a book, spoke on TV, wrote a blog, or lived prominently. Yet more words and books have been written about Him than any other. Lives have been changed, centuries of history rendered totally different because of the power of truth lived out and spoken from the quiet, gentle, humble life Christ lived during his time on the earth.
Could Jesus still live through me, faithfully, quietly, personally, powerfully, right where I am, so the impact of my life of integrity would reach the far corners of the earth if I lived according to His ways and the not the world’s?
How can I lived a servant-oriented, children-valuing, eternity-focused life, centered on listening to Him and closing out the voices of the world?
Many life circumstances have taught me that fitting into the mold or expectations of others is not God’s will for me. If, for example, I had followed all the parenting advice of friends, I could have easily cultivated rebellion or resentment in the hearts of my children. But because God gave them to me, it is for me to love, discipline, and nurture them according to their bent and the wisdom and intuition He gives day by day.
Colt is an avid reader and very bright. He has a wealth of random facts that no “normal” person would know from the books he has read. He started speaking very early and hasn’t stopped. He speaks too quickly for even me to understand sometimes because his mind is going faster than his mouth. He often is absorbed in his own little world oblivious to the people and needs around him. He is strong in what he believes about life and doesn’t care to be different. He is a quick learner and mostly self-taught. We are working on self-discipline and being slow to speak.
Kylie is a fireball with a strong sense of justice. She is quick to point out when punishments are administered unfairly in her eyes. Her mouth gets her in trouble more than any of us would like, but she is maturing and learning to think before speaks. Despite her strong will she is surprisingly more of a follower than a leader – wanting to fit in and be like those around her more than stand up or stand out. She is also quick to help, often asking me if there is anything I need help with. She loves to cook and clean and small children love her. She is very creative and can follow tutorials to crochet the most amazing things. She struggled learning to read and often needs things to be repeated several times before they stick. We are working on gentleness and controlling our tongue.
Caden is most always smiling, happy, and willing to hug or snuggle. He has a sweet and tender disposition but is also 110% boy running full steam ahead and usually towards something dangerous. He has a soft heart, and if he sees someone hurting is quick to run over and put his arm around them. He will cry with you when you are crying and he will laugh with you when you are laughing. He is an encourager and wants to see you do well. His tender heart allows him to be offended easily, and he does not like to receive correction which hinders him more often than not. Caden asks a million questions, but he doesn’t listen for the answer which is frustrating for us both since its usually the same question over and over. We are working on listening and making wise choices.
Each child is different. They are unique individuals that are God’s gifts to me; none of them fit anyone’s mold – and it is just too much pressure to worry about what anyone else thinks anyway!
I must ask, do I see my children through the grid of them being a blessing from God? Do I bless my children and see that as a part of being Jesus to them? As in all great work, raising and training children in requires so much time, effort, work, fortitude, faith, and patience. But it is such an important work, as it will last throughout eternity!
I need the daily reminder to see them through the eyes of Jesus. Do I focus on them as people to police or correct – or people to love and serve, understand, protect, and instruct?
Do them see me as an adversary, waiting for them to fail, to do something wrong, or to make a mistake? Or do they see me as an advocate, one who comes alongside them, to love and correct gently, to keep them on the path of righteousness, to motivate them toward holiness, to encourage them when they are discouraged, to paint a vision for their lives?
“God rarely meets our expectations when we pray, He exceeds them.” – Jodie Berndt Praying Scriptures for Your Children
I can think of several examples in the last month where this proved to be true.
About one week after our arrival in Cape Town, I got a horrible migraine. I usually get them monthly and it seems to be triggered by exhaustion or stress (both of which understandably accompany an international move and jet lag right?). This was quite a severe one though and after 2 days of pain, nausea, vomiting, and not being able to keep anything down, I started to feel dehydrated and think I might need some IV fluids because of how weak and dizzy I felt with no sign of improvement. The crazy thing is, it wasn’t until this point that I decided to call on some praying friends to plead for healing. So, why should I be surprised when within two hours I was able to fall asleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling completely well! I wasn’t just “well,” but I actually felt strong. Usually after bad migraines I still need a day or so to recover from being so weak but not this time. It was truly miraculous.
A couple of days later, we were playing at a nearby park with one of those really tall metal slides that I remember playing on as a child, but I’m pretty sure they are no longer used because they are metal traps of death. Seriously, they are too high and your skin rips off on the way down when it’s hot, am I right? Well, Caden was climbing UP the “metal trap of death” when his sister came racing down, and Caden went head first over the slide from very close to the top. It was bad, but it could have been worse. He limped over with some scrapes and bruising to his leg but no other visible injury. Caden only cries when it’s bad, but he had full range of motion so I decided to just monitor for a day or so. He still wasn’t walking on it after another day so I made an appointment with a doctor (Yay! Doctor visits within 2 weeks of arriving in South Africa). We prayed, and again God answered. The doctor said it was just muscle bruising and he would get back to normal within a few days. He was walking fine within another day or two. Just remembering the fall though – it could have been so much worse.
After being here for about 2 ½ weeks, we found and were able to move into our new home. We would need to fully furnish it though, and Cape Town surprised us by being as expensive or more expensive than the States (I guess since most everything is imported). I told our landlord that any furniture she wanted to leave, we would be happy to buy from her. She ended up leaving Kylie’s room completely furnished (bed, nightstands, desk, bookshelf), a large dining room table, a mirror and dresser, and the master bedroom fully furnished as well (bed and nightstands). Here is God’s goodness and provision: Our landlord said she would be happy for us to use these items and no need to pay her for them! That was a HUGE blessing and also relieved the burden of trying to find that much furniture to be able to move it.
But it’s not just these bigger things where God has shown Himself real. He answered things like opening a stubborn pickle jar and helping the puppy sleep through the night. I’m not preaching a “health and wealth” God that always answers every prayer however we ask, but I am wondering why we don’t pray more. . .
I cannot say enough how good it is for the soul to be in nature, to be still and be renewed. Take the phone in case of emergency or to capture an incredible view – but mostly be unplugged. We (humans) are too busy and life is too hectic. I don’t believe that is how God intended for it to be. Slow down, listen for His voice, and be ok with silence. It’s not just good for heart, but I’m pretty sure it’s good for your health too.
Romans 1:20
For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.
Psalm 66:4
All the earth worships you and sings praises to you; they sing praises to your name.” Selah
Isaiah 40:28
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.
Jeremiah 32:17
‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
1 Corinthians 8:6
Yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.
Hebrews 13:15
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
Psalm 19:1
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
When we left China, I believe that trip was around 42 hours. Unfortunately, this trip to South Africa has it beat! It was supposed to be 37 hours, but it turned into 59! We chose to look for the silver linings. . .
1. We were able to say goodbye well to our friends and family.
2. Haley’s parents (who have plenty of suburbans due to the family business) were the perfect transport of our family and our 16 pieces of luggage plus carry-ons to the airport. And all the luggage made it (despite the re-routing and delays!)
3. The weather delayed our first flight making us miss that connection, but there was a beautiful rainbow reminding us of God’s faithfulness.
4. It may have been midnight, but we stumbled upon the right guy to help us in a seemingly empty airport. He helped us get hotel and food vouchers for that night.
5. The flights were so empty we all had our own row to lay across and sleep for the long flights!
6. It’s so much easier to travel now that the kids are older!
7. We had a warm welcome by our team mates! They even stocked our fridge!
8. We had a car here waiting for us to learn to drive on the “wrong” (opposite of what we are used to anyways) side of the road.
9. We landed the day after David’s bday and ON Kylie’s bday – and we found cake to celebrate!
10. There were springbok (think African deer) on our compound – how cool is that?
It was legit hard, and I’m sure it took years off my life (ha!), but again. . . finding those things to be grateful for added some back on
David said he had a surprise for my birthday, but I never imagined this! It was quite amazing. Breathtaking (literally – I couldn’t close my mouth because of the wind force!). It was beautiful, fun, and I would do it again David had bad sinuses that day so the rapid decent really bothered his ears, and he couldn’t hear normally for a few days. We jumped from 14,000 feet!
Rock climbing has been something our family has done together for a couple of years now. So, of course, being out of our element after leaving China we were able to find something familiar by climbing again. The New is an amazing and famous climbing destination, and it’s only an hour and half from my parents in WV. Our good friends, the Pickards, joined us with their two kids Miles and Nora. It’s always more fun with friends
Sometimes we don’t have words to express our feelings, but our hearts are true. This was an amazing place we were able to live for seven years. We will never forget it!
June 29,2020 marks our Leave Day. Do you have a day that marks when life quakes or plans tumbled? Should we even memorialize such a day? I hope we never forget any of our seven years in Asia. Every end of June will be a sort of anniversary. It will be a blend of stories, laughter, and tears.
On our Leave Day we will remember the day we left our home. Sure, America is our home too. Or at least it was. And it will be again. I’m speaking for myself here, of course, because my children will have their own stories, and they’ll need to tell them. Their relationship with America (and Asia) always was and always will be unique. Different than mine.
But some things we shared.
We will remember greeting the locals as “爷爷， 奶奶， 阿姨， 叔叔，哥哥，弟弟，姐姐，妹妹” with family names (grandpa, grandma, aunt, uncle, big or little brother, and big or little sister) that brought a sense of unity and closeness even with people you had never met before.
We will remember the smells. . . there were some interesting ones too! Like stinky tofu, spicy Sichuan peppers, the many varieties of noodles, pickled vegetables, fresh ginger and garlic, and hot steamed buns with fresh, warm soy milk.
We will remember our favorite “fast food” places to eat out: oil tea 油茶, mifen 米粉, mantou 馒头, baozi 包子, jiaozi 饺子， noodles 面条, oil sticks 油条, chive wraps 韭菜盒子, fresh coconut milk 椰子奶, pan seared green beans 干煸四季豆, creme puffs 泡芙， and so so so many wonderful fruits and vegetables.
We will remember our friends from school, teachers, neighbors, and other close friends who made it feel like home and accepted us like family.
We will remember driving in the CRAZY traffic with apparently no rules of the road on our three wheeled scooter! We always ALWAYS got some many comments and stares when we were driving that thing.
We will remember hiking up Chuan Shan 穿山 and rock climbing at Bai Mian Shan 白面山, Yao Gu Shan 腰鼓山, and the Big Crag with friends.
We will remember our trips out to remote areas and getting carsick on the bus on the winding mountain roads.
We will remember all of our different pets we experimented with in apartment living: tadpoles, frogs, turtles, birds, rabbits, ducks, gerbils, and a cat.
We will probably always love Chinese food the best. We prefer to eat with chopsticks when we can.
We will search youtube for Chinese stories, songs, and movies to bring a little touch of the familiar.
We will remember the ladies dancing in the square in the evenings to very loud music!
We will remember the kids being treated like celebrities because of their white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes.
On Leave Day we will remember. And we will pray.
We’ll pray for East Asia, for our friends there, and for the Church that’s blossoming into its identity.
And Lord willing, we’ll do this every June 29th: the day we gave almost everything we owned away and left behind our lives of seven years and all of the people in it.
June 29th you won’t find us sitting around the table drinking tea and cracking seeds and nuts with our friends.
Instead, we’ll mourn what was, and we’ll be grateful for it too.
And we’ll move on, whatever that means.
He is the God of June 29th, but he is also the God of June 30th, and July 1st. And if he’s true, if he’s real, he’s got us, and he holds us in his strong right hand.
And he will hold us on every Leave Day, and every day after that too.
Kylie Joy turned 9 on June 13. She had a special cake at art class with friends, and then again at home with family. She is fierce and funny. She is amazingly artistic and creative. She is strong yet sweet. She sings like an angel. She has an eye for all things beautiful and shiny. She loves to shop and loves some shoes! She keeps me on my toes and has made me a better mom. I’m so thankful for her life.
Well, when covid hit and the kids didn’t go back to school that last semester in Guilin, we decided we could get ducks. This totally occupied their every waking second and was wonderful for them to be outside caring for little creatures. We started with three (one each right?). Then, the trend caught on and some neighbors bought baby ducks for their kids, but soon decided ducks weren’t suitable pets for high level apartment living and gave them to us. We live on the first floor, so we had a small yard. Our duck total was now five.
The kids would catch fish from the pond in our apartment complex and feed them. Then, when the ducks were big enough they would “walk” them to the pond and let them swim a bit. They also had to be put safely away at night because the predators were real – we lost baby ducks years before to big rats. The ducks were so smart too!! When the kids let them out in the morning they would go straight to the pond – they had learned that route quickly. They also followed the kids around. Really cute.
They were super fun and the hype of the neighborhood. . . until they got big and took over the pond and the management office said they had to go. So, we gave them to our art teacher who lived in the village next to the river. She already had chickens and geese and was happy to provide them a new home where we could still see them each week when we went to art class.
